I took Liam downstairs after he woke up at 12:30 last night. He'd woken up the last two nights coughing and actually vomited from coughing. Clean sheet night came three times this week. Mike got seven hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. I'm not certain, but I think if I had given him a choice between seven hours of sleep or sweet lovin', he probably would have chose to sleep.
When I was little, my mom would rub my temple whenever I was sick. It would put me right to sleep. Mike even does it to me when I'm having trouble sleeping. I tried doing it to Liam when he would fuss when he was really little. He never wanted anything to do with it. Last night, in the middle of his "I'm exhausted but refuse to sleep" breakdown, I laid him down on my chest and rubbed his temple. Within five minutes, he was out. I'm glad that gift is hereditary.
This is going to be the first full year without my mom. I didn't think it would bother me quite this much. I was glad I fell asleep before the ball dropped so I would not be able to to not call mom and wish her a happy new year. (Did that make sense?) I did pretty well through Thanksgiving and Christmas. I even forgot to burn a few rolls with Christmas dinner the way she always did. Dad would put one up against a door and joke that is was our new door stopper.
My dad has his lady friend and spent the holidays with her and her family. He had been mourning Mom for awhile and could not have been a better spouse in her final months. I can not be mad at him him for moving on. Mom would not have wanted him to mope. My mom was silly about many things, but she never had a mean word to say about anyone. Therefore, I know Dad has her blessing. He did not need my permission, but I gave him my blessing as well.
I never make resolutions because I feel they set me up to fail. I guess I have a few improvements/ alterations I'd like to make this year:
1. Watch the f bombs as Liam understands language. I'm getting better but I need to improve.
2. Stop obsessing about things that don't matter and focus on the things that do matter. If anything, this past year has taught me who my real friends are.
3. Be as healthy as possible. I don't ge to the gym because I don't want to leave Liam. Cold weather makes it taught to go outside. I am now setting an example for my son. I need to stop being really good and then being really bad. I need to find a happy medium as I have been gaining and losing the same fifteen pounds for fifteen years.
4. Continue to enjoy Liam. I think I have done a good job of not worrying all the tie about him and enjoying him. He will only be little once.
5. Really reflect on my teaching. After seven years, it is easy to just go to the binder and take out the old lessons that worked. Sure, I tweak things and make improvements, but I really want to evolve and ensure my students are prepared.
6. Keep up with my reading and writing. I forgot how much I truly enjoy getting things down. I read some great books last year in genres I usually avoid. I want to continue reading for myself.
7. Simplify. I've been getting rid of a lot of my "stuff." The flood was a great wake up call to alert me of how much stuff I have that I do not need.
I think if I add anymore than that, I won't be able to follow it. It is a good start.
Sometimes, I write with not particular focus. I like to see where my words take me. This is definitely one of those posts.
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