Going broke saving money....

Seven years of waitressing left me always carrying cash. I couldn't spend more than I earned. I was quite frugal back in the day. Fast forward a few years. Mike and I seem to be pretty good with money but I know we could be better. I order Liam's diapers and wipes through Target.com. This keeps me from going to the store. I am notorious for throwing an extra $30 worth of junk I swear I "need" into the cart. Being lazy and ordering online saves me money. We buy a lot of clothes second hand. Almost all of Liam's toys come from yard sales. However, I need to stop giving into the awesome deals I've been finding. Last Sunday, I stumbled across half price Uggs. I did not at all need them, but I couldn't refuse such a good deal. Saturday, I discovered a deal for a Little Tikes house for Liam. It was almost half price. Over the summer, I have a few plans to attempt to save some money:
We now have a travel trailer for the bike. We live within two miles of three parks, the ocean, the public library, and the community pool. We have a lot of things to do this summer. I plan on taking Liam out daily but riding the bike instead of driving the car. This should shave the $50 a week gas bill.
Instead of planting flowers this summer in my flower bed, I want to plant a few vegetables. Liam loves cucumbers and tomatoes. I'm not sure what else to plant. I have a little time to decide. I have never attempted anything more than maintaining plants so this is a big deal for me.
I need to stop online shopping so much. It is too easy to find deals and take advantage of saving money online. Not actually handing cash over makes the purchase not seem real. Even though it saves money, I need to stop taking advantage of online deals.
I wonder if getting a smart phone will help me save money. All too often, I don't print coupons that I can use because it is usually impossible to get a good amount of time on the computer at home with Liam. I don't have a computer at work. Most places allow you to hand over your phone and they'll scan coupons that way. I'm not saying it'll pay for itself but I would save maybe $5 a month. I am well aware that a plan costs more than that.
I am really hoping that as the weather gets warmer, we'll get out more. That means we'll spend less money as we enjoy free entertainment.

He's Becoming a Person

At this age, Liam's personality is starting to emerge. He is a sweet, silly boy who loves to make people smile. He is friendly and loves playing with his friends. He is also very stubborn. (Well, according to Mike, Liam is "determined." I'm "stubborn.) He'll spend hours trying to fit things together and pile pans on top of each other. I wasted hundreds on toys when I should've just given him ca rte blanch to the Tupperware drawer.
Last week we were putting groceries away in the kitchen. It got very quiet int he dining room. Usually, Liam tries to get into our glasses in there to fit our shot glasses in to Mike's bourbon glasses. We are learning quickly that quiet equals mischief. This is what we found:


My smart toddler knew to go for the two things I would never let him have: Girl Scout cookies and pudding snacks.

Murphy's Law would make me wake up at 5:30 on a Saturday morning and not be able to get back to sleep. Liam woke up. If he wakes up and the sun is rising, we scoop him up, give him a sippy, and let him go back to sleep with us. He went right out snuggled in my arms yet I was restless. So here I am, watching the news and getting ready to get catch up on cleaning while my two favorite men sleep.

Back to the Positive

It is hard to believe that three short days ago, we were shoveling snow and bundling Liam up. Today we had temps in the 50's. Tomorrow, it won't get above 25. Therefore, Liam and I had to take advantage of today's warm weather. We took a ride to City Park. Liam played with a three year old and her ten week old puppy. He loved the slide and climbing on the gym. We walked down to the water. I am just starting to realise how lucky we are to live a mile from the ocean. People go their entire lives without ever seeing the ocean.

Liam played with the sand. He made a beeline for the water. I was hoping that if he actually touched the water, he'd feel how cold it was and not want to go near it. That was not even close to the case. Liam loved that the water came and went with the waves. He loved the sand. He loved playing on the jungle gym.

This was the view from the top of the gym. He climbed and went down the slide. Being a boy, his favorite past was the sticks on the ground.

I now can not wait for the summer. I was nervous about having enough to do with him over the summer since he is so used to going out and about every day and staying busy at school.

Snark?

I have mentioned before that, after years of "old fashioned" journals, I love keeping this blog.I've discovered interesting people to follow and like having a digital copy of my thoughts. One only complaint I've discovered but knowing people read this is that I feel the need to always be positive. I would never dare to say any aspect of my life is less than puppies and rainbows when I know others are reading. Maybe this is because I don't want to seem like a complainer. Maybe it is because I feel the constant need to give the impression of having it all together. Maybe it is because I am a giant wimp and fear prevents me from putting negative thoughts out into cyberspace. Whatever the reason, I keep everything positive here.
I had the great idea of starting a super private blog in which to get it all out. I even had an idea of a possible book that portrayed two points of view within the same character and situations. Once it was time to create this blog, I couldn't do it. Although I would not consider myself a negative person, the thought of having nothing more than a complaining blog seemed self destructive. No good could come from it.

That leads me here. Maybe the world would be a happier place if we all found some positive in everything all the time.

It was one year ago this week that I got the call that we needed to go to Florida to say goodbye to Mom. The months that followed were a roller coaster of emotions. Dad didn't follow the Do Not Resuscitate. In Florida, the spouse has some rights to veto it. I did not want Mom to die any quicker, but it was so difficult to know that her wishes were not being followed. I can't blame Dad; I can't imagine letting Mike go. Eventually, Mom decided she was ready. She told Dr Martinez to stop all treatment. Five days later, she was gone. She was so excited for Liam's blessing. Even though she was unable to make the trip to be there, she told me she was going to try her hardest to stay until after Saturday. She passed on Sunday.

I remember someone telling me that marriage is not about the wedding. "After the wedding, you're married." I keep thinking of that in relation to Mom. After someone dies, they're gone. It seems simple, but after the dust settles, after the flowers die and the cards stop coming, that person is still gone. After people stop checking on you and you're supposed to be over it is when it hits you. I still take a different way home from work to avoid reaching for the phone the way that I did for so long to call Mom on the way home from work each afternoon. It is Kristy calling me every day on her way home from work so she doesn't have to not call Mom. (Not sure if that makes sense.)

Before she died, I thought that hard part would be not being able to call when Liam made milestones. He was four months old when she died. The last "guess what Liam just did" call was about him trying cereal. I did cry when Liam took steps and I couldn't call. However, the hard part was when I was afraid Liam had chickenpox and couldn't call Mom. It was when Liam's fever spiked and when I had to make an appointment with an ENT because of his ear infections.

As all these thoughts go through my head, I try my hardest to grasp what Mom was going through towards the end. I've learned more about her youth in the months since she died. I refuse to let anger consume me or even penetrate me. However, I look at my relationship with my own child. If Liam falls quicker than I can catch him, it kills me. When he is sick, I spend the entire time doing everything I can trying to make him feel better. I would do anything to make Liam happy and keep him healthy. There is nothing better than getting a smile or a sloppy kiss from that little boy. I would do anything for the privilege of getting to see who he becomes. I will never, ever understand why my mom didn't think it was important to do that as well.

Sometimes, I'd get upset thinking about all the things my mom will miss out on in Liam's life. Going back to that positive spin, Mike reflected that she may miss all of Liam's milestones, but Mom was able to see all of mine. How lucky am I for that?



One year ago this weekend, Liam met his nana for the first and last time. He knew exactly what to do. The resemblance between he and my mom is uncanny. I know that is no coincidence.

Vacation

As far as vacations, go, this was the type we always say we're going to enjoy. We "slept in" (until 7), dropped Liam off at daycare for a few hours each day, and spent time together. Mike and I had lunch dates, walked bookstores, and had weekend coffee each morning. Usually we have Folgers during the week and save the good coffee for weekends. This week, every morning was morning coffee day. We enjoyed Liam. Amount of work. As always, I took home an overloaded bookbag and did the minimum amount of school work. I got my lessons finished for the week and got my correcting done. I always have these grand ideas of getting weeks ahead. It never happens.
Yesterday, we took him up to Wright's Dairy Farm. He watched the cows get milked. We bought some fresh milk and a zeppola. He loved the cows.

Today, we woke up to just enough snow to be pretty. Since Liam is a confident walker, it was time to let him play. He didn't really now what to do with it. Chasing Jake was a good way to get in the spirit of playing in the snow.



We spent about an hour outside before he decided it was time to come in and take a nap.

Tomorrow we go back to the real world of setting alarms, making lunches, and going back to work.

Returning the Favor

After I had Liam, Mike bought me a nice camera. It was a "push present," as they are now called. Since Mike is getting his vasectomy tomorrow, it only seemed fair that he gets a gift as well. He is downstairs with Jim playing his new PS3. If he has to sit on the couch with frozen peas on his whowhodilly, at least he can shoot stuff while he recovers. I'm trying to think of a catchy term for such a gift.