Thursday, November 4, 2010

Another cross off the list

Before you even begin trying to get pregnant, you have a list titled "When I'm a Parent, I'm Never Going to:" This list covers everything from what what you will let your kids play with, wear, and say to how you will raise them. I swore if had a girl, she would never wear spaghetti strap tank tops out of the house. Our child will never wear pajama pants in public. The baby would sleep in its own bed. We'd never give him junk food. Whatever. It was like raising a child was as easy as making a box of brownies; you follow the directions, don't do anything stupid, and your child will come out perfect.

Fast forward nine months. After five of Liam's teeth decided to come through at one time and he was waking up every three hours, Liam winds up in our bed most nights. If he wakes up after 3:30-4:00, we bring him to bed with us. There is no point in spending an hour trying to get him back to sleep at 4 when the alarm goes off at 5:30. There is one mother I never thought I would be.

I am the worst about giving Liam "just a taste." He's had the arm of a gingerbread man, a fingerfull of cupcake, etc. I won't give him juice yet I let him gnaw on crusts of bread. I know people do much worse but it bugs me because it was on my "I'll Never" list.

My house is overrun with toys. I went yard sale crazy this summer. I was out of control. Our house is paying the price.

Maybe what it comes down to is the actual verses the reality. It is very easy to make this list in your head when you're lying awake with heartburn during your pregnancy or watching a poor, tired mother deal with a temper tantrum in line at the market. What really matters is being the best you can be. Liam is always loved and nurtured. He is happy and healthy. He is growning and learned and exploring.

I am sure as the years go by, I will break more of my "I'll Never" Mommyisms. In fact, I hope I do. I pray that motherhood is never as boring as following simple directions. I love the spontaneous moments that Liam provides. I love playing with him and spending time doing something as simple as playing peekaboo with a blanket for a half an hour. If I hadn't broken my prenatal mommy rule, I never would have experienced the joy of sleeping with Liam sleeping with both of his arms wrapped around mine.

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