Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What Have You Done for Me Facebook?

I once compared sharing my writing to bathing suit shopping. I am putting myself out there for all to see. I hadn't made this blog public until now. (Breaths deeply and removes towel)...

Is it wrong to admit that I feel a sense of giddyness as I delete my Facebook account? I spent most of yesterday thinking about the events of the day. I guess I have stopped shaking with anger enough to sum up what happened. My mom died Sunday night. Within forty five minutes, a distant cousin posted "rest in peace aunt pat." I sent him a message saying I have not yet contacted all of the extended family so can you please wait a little while before posting it. I would hate for an aunt, uncle or cousin to learn of my mom's death via a social networking site. He not only left it up, he bashed me on his "wall" saying that he was told it was wrong to post about my mom's death. Because I couldn't get a hold of one of my uncles until the following afternoon, there is a good chance my cousins found out my mom died via a wall post on that stupid website.
I really started thinking about facebook and the "friends" I have there. Yes, I reconnected with lost friends. I never would have would found Jess Chevalier without FB. I became better friends with some people because of FB. Jes King and I would not know each other as well without FB. Yes, there are people I would love to see more often that distance does not allow. Kim, Ericka, Amanda, Cheryl come to mind.
However, how many friends have I actually lost to FB? Caitlin and Beth, you and I used to meet for lunch every few months. We haven't done so in years. Why? No need to. Beth, I know that you had a beautiful wedding to a devoted, handsome man. I know you bought a raised ranch and that you are thinking about starting a family. Heck, I know that your friend Kerri had a baby. Caitlin, I know that things are still going well between you and your boyfriend. I know you just sold your first house and went on a camping trip last year. Facebook took away the wonder of what two girls I cherish are up to, thus illiminating the need for me to actually pick up the phone and call you. I haven't had to make plans to introduce you to my miracle of a son. Why not? You've watched him grow over the internet. Facebook did not bring any of us closer. It made it acceptable to go years without seeing each other in person.
I really started thinking "What has Facebook done for me lately?" This is what I have come up with:
* It actually disconnected me to spending real time with people I hold dear to me. Because I know what they're up to, I haven't felt the longing or the need to check in personally.
* Sometimes, it showed me people I like spending time with made plans that did not include me. That made me sad. If I didn't have a FB account, I never would have known who went for a walk without me or had a nice visit at so and so's house.
* I leanred that even when I don't even know who deleted me, it makes me sad when my friend count goes down.

* It taught me some people have no filter. Why do you think, friend, that I want to know about your breastfeeding experiences, your baby's poop, etc?
* Some people are narcisstic. They need everyone to know they're taking a grad class, ran three miles this morning, went to a 5am workout, what they ordered at lunch, etc. This made me wonder about myself. Did I really post pictures because I wanted everyone to see them? There was a big part of me who LOVED getting the comments about how cute Liam is. You know what, though? I know his amazing. Why did I need a social networking site for validation?
* Some people are always sad. Nothing makes them happy. And they want the world to know.
*Some people are niave. If I haven't seen you since seventh grade, why are you letting me and 200+ other people know that you're at work right now or away in Texas for a wedding this weekend? How do you know I didn't turn into some crazy criminal who is thankful to know a house will be empty for seven hours or three
* My last boyfriend's new girlfriend is beautiful. Stunning. And, to make matters worse, she looks like a really nice girl, too. Aren't ex boyfriend's new girlfriends supposed to be ugly? Damn it. OK, this is just the girl in me coming out.
* Although I've never played, Farmville looks stupid.

In conclusion, I can't remember the last time a week went by without me being grossed out or aggrivated by something on Facebook. The people who are in my life are important and will remain so with or without a social networking site.
Adios, Facebook. See y'all in real life!


  1. My reason for never bothering with facebook was that it's 1 more place I have to log into to get messages from people! That's why I quit myspace. You either have friends in the real world or you don't, and social networking sites aren't going to help that, like you said. I love you my friend!