Four Months

It is hard to believe that four months ago, Liam was about to be born. A year ago at this time, I was three days late and hoping that this was it. I look at the beautiful baby sleeping next to me and can not fathom life without him. Through all the chaos, Mike and I have grown closer. I have learned how important my friends can be and how much true friends can make a difference. Even if I don't have time to go out with them as much as I'd like, something as quick as a simple email or text makes me feel connected to the real world. I have learned that competative mothering is hurtful and best avoided. I have learned that I can not do it all myself. Sometimes, I need to ask for help. This is not a sign of weakness.

Liam's blessing is in a week and a half. Mike and I are different religions. We're having the reverend who married us come to our house and bless Liam. He will not belong to any particular religion but will still be blessed and introduced to the world. Most people have respected our choice to do a non denominational ceremony. Having it our house with our closest friends and family is intimate and represents who we are. Hearing people come out and bash the idea hurt. Telling me my mother must be devastated was just mean. If I have learned anything through the birth of Liam it is that I can not make everyone happy. A lesson I know I need to work on is to stop feeling the need to try to explain my choices to people who don't care my reasoning and just want to tell me I'm wrong.

In true teacher form, I have a four square graphic organizer with lists of what I need to buy where and when and a day by day to do list.

My mom and dad were supposed to come up for Liam's blessing. It kills me to hear mom get worse and worse every day. Going down to make sure she saw Liam was the right thing to do. I don't wish her dead, but I know she is not living. Still trying to figure out the exact reason, but I know God made Liam look just like her for a reason.