Wednesday, May 31, 2017

You Know It's Hard, Right?

Ever see the movie Twins?  We often joke that Liam is the Danny DeVeto character.  While he inherited many of our best attributes, he also managed to get so many of our quirks.  Foe example, he managed to get my perfectionism with Mike's lack of urgency.  In Liam's world, it needs to be just right and perfect...when he gets to it.  After asking him several times to put away his special smelly markers, I started putting them away.  He rolled his eyes, ran over and put them Roy G Biv order.

He has Mike's ability to read people and make friends with anyone.  He could grow up to be a lawyer, politician, or used car salesman.  He loves to learn and read.  He can be incredibly thoughtful.

He has all of these amazing qualities.  I worry that he has my anxiety.  I don't bring up anxiety or past issues.  They're in the past for a reason.  It's taken forty years, but I am finally pretty good at hiding and managing my anxiety.  He gets so upset with himself when he messes up or does something wrong, no matter how many times we tell him him it is okay to make mistakes.  He worries about so many things.  He is already worried about leaving for college, asking once every month or so if it is okay if he stays home when he goes to college.

His worrying makes me worry.  When is his worrying something for me to worry about?  Will he grow up replaying conversations in his head, worrying if he said something wrong or was something taken the wrong way?  How much will his fear of failure prevent him from living life to the fullest?

I love who this boy is becoming.  I just want to make sure that he gets the support and assurance he needs.

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